Will's Struggles
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William C. Jones, V
Will's life was marked by an inner struggle that few truly understood. It was deepened by the gap between how he saw himself and how the world perceived him.
Will’s journey was marked by a profound internal conflict: the desire to live a meaningful life and make a positive impact on the world.
He had a deep desire to help others and felt the responsibility of being a good example to his siblings and cousins. When he faltered, it compounded negative views he had of himself. And with the weight of his high expectations and that of others, the burden of his own perceived shortcomings weighed heavily on his mind and heart.
Many of the distractions he entertained served as an outlet from the constant pressure to be enough for everyone else. And knowing his own battles with right and wrong intimately, he often felt guilt and shame for some of his decisions that he kept hidden from others.
"Lord thank you for giving me salvation and reminding us through your word that nothing we can do can separate us
from you once we have dedicated our lives to you.
Pls help me to remember this but also stay on the righteous path. Pls take away the guilt and shame of past choices."
Will Jones, V - Bible App 4/15/22
Will also experienced traumatic events that affected his worldview.
One of the events that left a deep mark on Will's life took place when he was just 11 years old: in 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and its surrounding area and devastated our region.
Although Will managed to adapt to a new school and community in Jennings, LA immediately after being displaced, returning home to such enormous destruction and loss at such an impressionable age had left an impact on him.
A touching memory from that time is the prayer Will offered on stage during the one-year anniversary service for Hurricane Katrina. His words, which were broadcasted live on C-SPAN, expressed his deep-rooted anxieties, his trust in God, and his belief in people's resilience, which, in a way, summed up his worldview.
Will's familiar struggle with attention and focus was compounded by a challenging new middle school and a lack of community, as many of his friends had relocated due to the hurricane's aftermath.
Another tragic event in Will's life occurred just one week before his high school graduation in May of 2012 when his paternal grandmother was involved in a horrible accident that left her incapacitated until her passing six years later. The accident and its aftermath left Will shaken and unsure.
Other painful events and inner struggles also heavily shaped his young life.
During his freshman year of college, just before turning 18, Will began smoking marijuana. Unfortunately, between periods of sobriety, this habit lingered on and off for nearly a decade until his passing.
With a full four-year academic scholarship at Tulane University, Will’s life seemed to unfold as planned. However, struggling academically and directionally, he made the difficult decision to walk away from Tulane. This choice intensified his feelings of guilt, disappointment, and failure, as he felt he had fallen short of the goals he had set for himself, the expectations of his family, friends, and others, and the example he wanted to be for his younger siblings and cousins.
In 2021, while struggling with the isolation and unrest brought on by the pandemic, Will sought professional help, determined to overcome his battles with anxiety, depression, and trauma. And although he made significant progress in treatment, when he returned home in September 2021, he lacked the community and accountability needed to maintain his recovery.
Unfortunately, he eventually resumed smoking, influenced by and gravitating to friends who continued to use marijuana themselves.
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“You can see the effects of 2020
all over my face lol, but hey this
is an encouragement post.
Everyone hang in there,
we're almost through! 💜"
Will Jones V, November 16, 2020 Instagram post
The decision to start smoking marijuana again marked the beginning of a rapid decline in his mental health.
Will increasingly experienced anxiety and he was making poor decisions. These choices, and the guilt that followed, returned to haunt him.
On Saturday, March 26, 2022, after returning from hanging out at a club with a friend, Will experienced an extreme bout of fear and paranoia that had him in utter terror. He was so convinced that someone was plotting to harm him that he called family, and we later learned, he had dialed 911 and alerted his nextdoor tenants that night.
As Will shared his fears with many of his family and friends, it was difficult to know what was real and what wasn't - for Will and the people who knew and loved him.
This is often the most dangerous phase of psychosis - when the person’s reality begins to blur, and those around them do not have a reason to believe that what is being said is not actually true.
And although some things shared may seem a little odd, these early signs of psychosis are easy to miss.
By the next day, on Sunday March 27, 2022, Will's fears had subsided. But after some self-reflection, he recognized his need to recommit his life to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Will’s Final Weeks
On Monday, March 28, 2022, after a notable weekend, Will left Dallas and arrived in Indianapolis - away from the previous threat of danger and into safety with family. What was intended to be a temporary escape became the last chapter of his life.
During this time, Will took the opportunity to refresh and regroup. He spent time involved in the household, engaged with family, and with reading the scripture, completing and commenting on Bible plan devotions (alone and with his parents).
"Lord, thank you so much for your mercy and undying love. I pray that you grant me the strength to reset in you Lord, praying for protection as well as spiritual stamina." - Will Jones V 3/31/22
Will seemed content, but would offer subtle hints that some fears were still present. He would seek to avoid people and places that he believed were a threat - like the mall, among other things. However, only a few days before his death, his perception shifted. He moved from evading perceived threats to believing that he needed to confront them.
Will began to act upon voices that summoned him outside at 3:48am in the early morning hours on Wednesday, May 4, 2022 "to be kidnapped." Will shared that he decided to go to ensure that his family would not suffer harm in his place. This was less than 24 hours before his death.
After learning of this troubling incident, Will's parents spoke with him that evening. After hearing of his belief that he and his family were in grave danger, his parents sought to encourage him, alleviate his fears and urge him to continue with the plan to come home to New Orleans.
Unfortunately, the response was based on others’ perception of his danger instead of his belief - that was real to him. During such a critical mental health crisis of a loved one such as this, immediate medical attention should be sought.
His last words to them were, "I love you, and I'll see you soon."
In between experiencing paranoia and hallucinations, Will posted a message on social media, communicated with some family and friends who reached out and read and commented on his Bible plans. And in the wee hours of Thursday morning, May 5, 2022, Will walked out of the back door - undetected - into the water and to his unfortunate death.
Delta 9 THC: The Hidden Toll On Will’s Mind
Later it was revealed and the toxicology report confirmed that Will had smoked only a few days before his death.
Which is why we strongly believe that Delta 9 THC - which is a psychoactive component that can be found in cannabis - contributed to the onset of his psychosis, which led to his
untimely death.